THE TOP TWENTY NOISEMAKERS OF 2011
After swimming aimlessly in the waters of Agusan del Sur the past five decades, Lolong went on to be recognized as the world’s largest crocodile by the National Geographic and the Guiness Book of World Records this year. Heck, he even has his own Wikipedia page!
2. Christopher Lao
There’s nothing wrong with being pissed off when your expensive car gets trapped in a flood. Just make sure you don’t do it in front of national television. Christopher Lao learned this the hard way. His line “I should have been informed” has become one of the most memorable quotes of 2011. It even landed him his own commercial!
3. Mideo Cruz
4. Marjohara Tucay
5. Generoso Mariano
Want to ruin your decades-long military service? Simple: During a public gathering, make a video of yourself asking the Commander-in-Chief to resign, and make sure the material is uploaded on Youtube. (He’s now lined up for court martial.)
6. Winnie Castelo
Our legislative district’s “working congressman” (his self-description) was ridiculed this year when he filed the much-lampooned Anti-Planking bill. Instead of discussing the bill’s merits, the public noticed his hairstyle.
7. Bohol Rep. Rene Lopez Relampagos
The obscure solon from Bohol wants EDSA to be renamed as Corazon Aquino Avenue. Many asked: “Magkano pa ang kulang sa pork barrel niya?”
8. Len Lopez
One day, she and the President were an item. Soon, investigative magazine Newsbreak reported their split. “O kay bilis ng iyong pagdating, ang iyong pag-alis sadyang kay bilis rin.”
9. Ramona Bautista and Genalyn Magsaysay
The P100,000 monthly allowance. A sold Pajero. Inheritance issues. The escape to Turkey. A Cain-and-Abel murder story. Enough said.
10. Eulogio Magsaysay
Gained notoriety when he called a Philippine Airlines flight attendant a “menopausal bitch”
11. Three DPWH Personnel
Apparently unable to wait any longer to have photos of them while “in action,” three DPWH officials “photoshopped” themselves on the site of Pedring’s devastation in Manila Bay. Netizens had a field day inserting the three stooges’ images into other many other pictures. Even the Washington Post noticed this.
12. Cotabato Mayor Japal Guiani (Mindanao)
He had his 15 minutes of fame when he criticized the President’s response to the flashfloods in his constituency last June. Palace talking head Edwin Lacierda not happy.
13. Ferdinand Topacio
How far would you go to defend your client? Topacio may not be give his life for former President Gloria Macapagal-Arroyo, but he is willing to have his balls cut to emphasize that Arroyo will return to the country if she is allowed to seek medical treatment abroad. (With Arroyo now under arrest, Topacio’s wager has been rendered moot and academic.)
14. Jeff Tamayo
This member of the Philippine Sports Commission showed his utter contempt and disrespect to the internationally-recognized Philippine Dragon Boat Team by describing its members as “ampaw” and “overaged.” Lolong will probably not want to eat Tamayo because he tastes BITTER.
15. James Soriano
This Atenista guy wrote in his little-known Manila Bulletin column that Filipino (FYI, it’s the national language in the country where HE lives) is only used in speaking to “the people who washed our dishes.” Bet you won’t hear anything from this guy again next year.
16. Amanda Coling
The mature-looking (a euphemism) woman claimed to have been harassed by members of the Philippine Azkals. It earned her an exclusive interview with Showbiz Central.
17. Bishop Juan De Dios Pueblos
What gift do you want for your birthday? If you are an ally of then-President Gloria Macapagal-Arroyo, you can ask for a brand new Mitsubishi Montero. And I thought priests have made a vow of poverty.
18. Ronald Singson
Lovi Poe’s ex-boyfriend (and Ilocos Sur’s ex representative) resigned his Congress seat after he pleaded guilty in a Hong Kong court for carrying cocaine. The admission came weeks after his father Chavit Singson denied that his son is into drugs.
19. Dr. Honey Carandang
She called the attention of the DSWD and MTRCB upon seeing Willie Revillame goad 6-year-old Janjan to do a macho dance on national television. That made the child psychologist Revillame’s second worst enemy – next to Jobert Sucaldito.
20. Rafael Santos
You might have heard of him when he boasted on the ABS-CBN News Channel that he likes working with theater actors and actresses simply because they can be fed with “Skyflakes three times a day and pay them in cat food.” Doubt if anyone will ever work with Santos again.